The New To-Do List: Leading with Connection in a Disconnected World
Series: The Power of Connection – Blog Post #3

“We are people of value who value people and add value to them.”
— Dr. John C. Maxwell

Lesson plans. Emails. Grading. Meetings. Data. Deadlines.
It can feel like everything is urgent, except the very thing that gives our work meaning—being that teacher remembered for a lifetime for believing in kids and making a real difference in their lives.

At Best Questers we believe that teachers are far more than managers of behavior and content. They are visionaries, influencers, movers and shakers….leaders. We’re here to help you strengthen your leadership superpowers so you and your students come to school happy and positioned to thrive.

Maybe you see leadership as something reserved for those with a title—or a corner office.

Let’s flip the script.

A Case for Teacher Leadership

When students are dysregulated, withdrawn, or acting out, it’s easy to default to management mode. But what students often need most is leadership—not control. Influence—not authority.

They need teachers who are rooted in their value, and who reflect that value back to their students. That’s what Classroom Leaders do.

Post-pandemic, many students are arriving in our classrooms with more emotional needs than ever. Anxiety, grief, and disconnection show up as “defiance,” “distraction,” or “disengagement.” Beneath those behaviors is often a simple, unspoken question:

Do you see me? Do I matter here?

In moments like these, a teacher’s presence—their tone, their response, their belief—can either reinforce the disconnect or become a bridge to healing.

The Leadership Mindset

Teachers are incredibly skilled at planning, organizing, and managing dozens of moving parts each day. But leadership requires a different lens.

Leadership is about being intentional with the influence you already have. It’s about cultivating trust, modeling possibility, and holding space for students to rise.

You don’t need a title to lead.
You need a mindset.

And that begins with how you view yourself—and how you view your students.

John Maxwell’s Law of Influence reminds us that leadership isn’t about position. It’s about impact. And impact is born out of connection.

Update Your Connection To-Do List

Let’s refine and build on the “Connection To-Do List” we introduced in the previous posts in this series. These small shifts reflect a leadership mindset—and yield big results:

1. (Revisited) Be present. Presence is leadership. It communicates, “You’re worth my time and attention.” Even a few moments of true presence a day build deep reservoirs of trust. This looks like focused attention, mindfulness, experiencing emotions without judgement, calm, contentment, authentic connection and engagement.

2. (Revisited) Be curious. Curiosity signals value. Ask about your students’ interests, notice their growth, and show genuine delight in who they’re becoming.

3. Model Unconditional Positive Regard. We define this in High Five to Thrive as a mental model that believes in each student’s potential, even when behavior is challenging. It’s a way of seeing—of choosing to see—the best in others. It doesn’t mean lowering standards. It means holding hope. Choose to see every student as a 10. Even when they’re struggling, even when it’s hard. Especially then! The way you see them becomes the way they see themselves. 

4. Shape Identity with Non-contingent Praise.
Effort-based praise and behavior-specific praise are research-backed strategies that motivate students. Keep using them! But don’t overlook the power of non-contingent praise—affirming who students are, not just what they do.

• Effort-based praise (e.g., “You worked really hard on this!”)

• Behavior-based praise (e.g., “I noticed you shared with your partner—thank you!”)

• Non-contingent praise (e.g., “I’m glad you’re here today.” “You’re part of what makes this class special.”  “I love how your mind works.”  “You have such a curious way of seeing the world.”) This kind of praise helps students build identity, self-worth, and belonging.

5.  Reflect on how you show up.
Your presence sets the tone. Take a moment each morning to ask yourself: What energy am I bringing in today? Am I leading from calm or chaos? Am I centered, or scattered?

That’s why self-care is the first pillar in High Five to Thrive. Because we lead best when we lead from overflow, not depletion.

We’ll continue to build out this Connection To-Do List in upcoming posts—so stay tuned.

In the meantime, here’s a question worth carrying into your week:
What one habit could you adopt this week that says “I see you” to your students?

When you lead with connection, you don’t just teach standards—you set a new standard. A standard where students feel seen, safe, and significant.

And the impact? It ripples outward—far beyond test scores.

Connection is a leadership move.
It’s a decision to value people.
It’s the first step in adding value to their lives.